10th round 3rd time I've tried this

So I'm having difficulty coping with this lifestyle. I'm currently at cross cancer institute receiving my 10th round of chemo therapy sessions I have two more days after today.
I find myself very sensitive right now I've been in a state of (for lack of a better word) sadness the entire weekend especially Sunday it being the day before chemo and I try to prepare myself and I was failing epically.
I hear the usual it'll be ok, ull get through this, I know I know it sucks, well u gotta do what u gotta do, it'll be over soon ull see. All empty promises but hopes that everyone say outloud cuz they themselves pray its true.
Sometimes just sometimes do these statements make me feel any better, sometimes I would love to tell and say I'm not getting through this I'm going through it, of course it sucks I should know, thanks I know it's what I do, how so u know it'll be over soon it's been 5yrs, and how do u know ill be okay your not God you don't know what his plan is.
5yrs I've done this, 5yrs and since I was 16yrs old the best yrs of a persona life tortured and hacked by cancer.
At 17 and as a senior in high school u should worry about diploma exams and ur tests n scores, I was worried about blood counts and potential fevers that would cause me to go into septic shock and die in my sleep!!!
I'm bitter cuz I feel cancer cheated me from having the best experiences a person should be allowed to have in life at that age!
Why couldn't I get cancer when I was done my adventures and partying and traveling and schooling!! Make me feel like I've done something with my life. Not just sit in the hospital also considered my second home and be sick and then go home and still be sick and after three days of being sick continue to be sick at home for a few days. I've honestly had 60 sessions of chemo!!!!!!! 60!!!!!!!!!! 31 rounds of radiation!!!!!! 5 different center lines!!! Countless peri feral needles, 1 intense lung surgery where part of my lung was removed!!!!!!! Fevers that caused me to go to emergency 5 times with unexpected hospital stays! I've lost close friends and family to cancer 6 that were very close to me! How much more does one person have to go through during their journey of cancer.
This life style is hard and it's tough and shows no mercy, and I've done it for so long that everyone always thinks I'm okay.