April 2010 Events

So Chemo was delayed of course due to the staff infection and antibiotics i was on, so my third chemo cycle ended up being April 7-9 2010 ohh yeahh fun times, anyways this meant that i would get my scans done in a few days time and then have a re-evaluation.

So needless to say i was freaking out for most of April about my scans i was trully freaked out somedays and other days i felt completely numb about it and didnt care if it went good or bad. If i did have a bad day, it was always what is this going to do to my family, friends, and my relationships with them, or would it do nething at all. Or if id tell them and just keep it my little secret and well they'd figure it out eventually i guess. If it was good would i also keep it a secret?! or would i just scream it, but then what if something bad happened again i dont know if i could take that. . .I was so confused and depressed from march and then into April i could bearly breath sometimes. I couldnt smile i couldnt be trully happy i spent most of those days pretending, walking around with a grin on my face to mask my pain and just how much i was hurting from everyone, because trully i really dont think it would of made a difference.

So April 15th i had my CT scan which by very fast cuz i didnt have to get an IV line and get a contrast fluid injected into me so i was SOOO stocked about that lol So finished the scan and until April 21 2010 i would spend my days praying that i would get good news or maybe the same news just anything but bad news, and tried to distract myself which didnt work very well either cuz eventually i ended up right back where i started which would of been praying not to get bad news!!!

April 21st my house was a mess of nerves my mom and dad and myself, my appointment was at 1:30pm and it was a wednesday, what i forgot was that wednesday is there busiest day.
Ended up waiting for an hr to do bloodwork, and then another hr and a half to see my doctor which i have to admitt was just frikken retarded and imensly irritating, but patience is a virtue right lol anyway when we finally saw my doctor at like 345pm he said that my counts looked good, the scans showed that. . . . wait for it.. . . . .. . wait for it!!!

The mets in my lungs WHERE SHRINKING AWAY AND SOME EVEN DISAPPEARED!!! Only one of the larger mets in my lungs was growing, this of course he could not explain and neither could his co-workers. But the cancer is responding to chemo and it seems to be working and i almost cried but i didnt!!! I was half expecting to get horrific news and when i heard that the chemo was working i was soo happy i couldnt even explain in words how good it felt.
So the only thing i had to worry about was what was going to happen next?! what was our next step?! and unfortunately it was 3 more cycles of chemo and get scanned again. So April 22 2010 i was scheduled for surgery to get my second PICC inserted into my left arm again, but just hoping i can stand it for 2months, its only been a week and its driving me nuts so idk how this will work =S.
But yes so for the time being i seem to be getting better, and if it continues this way and the rest stop growing and the one only grows. I have a few options like possibly radiating the one spot, but i dont like that idea because i already have lung tissue damage from getting the max amount of radiation and i really dont want to have any side effects from being OVER radiated by accident!!! other option would be a possible lung surgery to remove the spot, but a lung surgery has a whole other list of side effects and major risks. . . . which is just shitty all around.
Yup and my 4th cycle of chemo i had on April 26-28th 2010 so only two more cycles to go =)