Back to square one

Hmm well crappy few days soo
January 8th 2009
Find out that study drug *that has no name* SCH 717454 is no longer at this time responding to my cancer mets. Or me not responding to it really.
So my Doctor (Dr.Chu) is on holiday so im stuck waiting. . . . . .yes waiting AGAIN.
Guess somethings never really do change, its so sad how you get used to this stupidness and at the age of 19 too its retarded to the max. Things just seem to happen all at once for me, i had to get this crappy news just two days after i started my first day of university honestly life and its tricks i tell you.
Not only that but if they have no other study drugs that im elligible for then i may just have to go back to the standard treatment which means id probubly be feeling like . . . . . well my old self. Which would consist of feeling like road kill. . .or death really. . . . ohh and id lose my hair, AGAIN!!!!!!!! Like it was hard enough the first time i have to do it again well this time if i lose it im doing what ever the fuck i want to it b4 hand and then just for fun shave it off myself!! or get some of my friends that i actually trust and let them do it lol
The way i see it can go two ways Either have fun and rock the crap outta what you got OR curl up into a ball and say fuck all. . . . . I like option one!
Its not gonna be easy and its gonna be harder to even realize and accept. . . . this is going to be a rough year and its hasnt even been two weeks into 2010 OHHH BOY.