Jessica's golf memorial speech i will be giving

Good Evening, My name is Alora Deonie I am 18 years old and I am teen cancer survivor and still fighting. We are here in memory of Jessica Millicent Tait, who was a loved daughter, sister, cousin, niece and friend; through my eyes we were not merely friends we were Cancer sisters with a bond that only few experience.
I met Jessica at the stollery and our friendship had grown in the months we were treated there together and the outing we went on. Some of my fondest memories through my cancer journey were our long talks when the Moms went for there walks round the hospital or when we were at a dream experience or in the teen room. We understood each other even without saying a word, it was a look that could reveal everything to the other, we knew what to say what to ask and not too.
Everyone here has been through their teens years, or is going to, when you are a teenager you feel like it’s the end of the world now when you are a teenager with Cancer, your world doesn’t just end its shattered into a million pieces, trampled upon and thrown around. At least that’s how I felt when I was first dealing with finding out I had cancer two months before I was 17.

One day a few of my cancer brothers and sisters including Jessica were talking about what we did to help with the stress. We got to talking about journaling and writing letters. Most of us had journals and were writing and it helped, we thought about starting a journal page on the Internet to let those who were curious about what it was like to have cancer have some real insight. Jessica liked the idea but said she didn’t think she could put her feelings into words. So in December of 2007 I started my first Internet journal and told my cancer family about it, so that if they wanted they could join in at anytime. A lot of them would tell me that I had a way with words that I was able to capture true moments of what it was like to be a teen with cancer.

This is an example of one of my entries:

The past few months have went by so fast it’s hard to take it seriously that I am actually completing my treatment already! Summer is here and graduation is done and many of my friends are getting ready to start the rest of their lives in post secondary institutions. I somehow got this crazy feeling to live my life! The way I wish too, of course I wouldn’t do anything stupid but just to live the way I want to. Time has become so precious to me it’s hard to understand the way I operate now a days. Most people are telling me to slow down and take it easy to relax, my problem isn’t not knowing how to relax its that I want to fit in as much as I can in as little time possible. It’s why I am always ready to go somewhere and do something, because I don’t like being in one spot for too long any more, I’ve missed so much on treatment I don’t want to risk missing anything else. Our time here on this earth is way too short and once you have something like Cancer come into your life and throw everything out of balance; you strive to be in control of anything again. Even if it means going out just for a walk, hanging out with family or friends the simplest things we take pleasure in, because we know its better than sitting around in a hospital bed being sick and not being able to go anywhere, being forced to be reminded by your surroundings that you are sick and you have cancer.

What made this one entry special to me was that Jessica had commented on it. Jessica’s comment read:

Alora that was amazing. It’s hard to believe it’s been 13 months for me. I never knew how to word the way I felt and why I never want to just sit down and relax one day. I always want to be on the move even just for a car ride! I know it sounds lame. But it’s not and you and I know that!

This is just one example of how through this disease we could understand each other on a level that not many people are able to grasp. The disease that infected our bodies did only that, it did not break our spirit or our hope for a better future and finding a cure for cancer that we know will come one day. Cancer taught us how precious our time was and it should not be spent on worry, anger, or sadness. But to find the beauty in everything, excitement, and to be content with what we are given.

I see so much potential for this foundation and I could only imagine the possibilities that it could accomplish for teens or any child with cancer. It means a lot to be able to have the means to do something that we always wanted without question without having to get permission without having everything depend on how well we were doing. For example wanting to get away with your family and a few friends but not having the means for such a trip, I believe this foundation would be able to assist in making such a trip possible. This foundation has so much meaning to a teen like me, it was because of the people behind this foundation that I was able to get my tattoo, and were kind enough to be there with me for moral support.
These amazing families from all they have gone through still manage to hold together and have touched more people than they could possibly imagine. I know this foundation will continue to grow and flourish with amazing brilliance, as it is already. Although Jessica has passed on to a better place, I know her spirit will live on forever through this foundation and through those who hold her in their heart. I may not be able to see Jessica but I can still feel her energy, and her party like a rock star attitude everyday in my life. Jessica will always remain my cancer sister and one of my heroes forever; I will never forget her and our friendship that sprang from the most dismal of situations.

On behalf of all teens with cancer thank you for all you have done, for that smile you offered us, for that donation no matter how big or small you gave, for your overwhelmingly positive attitude to help us beat this disgusting thing called cancer. Thank you. To those who made this foundation possible and this idea real, thank you. To this family for just simply being astoundingly amazing without even realizing it, thank you.

I ask that you raise your glasses with me, a toast to Jessica, to Jessica’s family and to all the others we lost from cancer, thank you for reminding us of what it means to live, and to fear nothing else but a life unlived.

Thank you