Tattoo. . . what it means

Soo on the brighter side of things from my toilet bowl of a situation that i find myself dwelling in i got to experience something trully amazing and emotional for myself personally.
I finally got my Tattoo, A Cancer ribbon in a personal colour of tealish blue obviously my fav colour, the lesson i learned of "Only Fear A Life Unlived" With some plumarias on the side with vines coming out. Around the Plumaria flowers are 5 blue small flowers each representing a person i lost the past year, the vines representing my growing relationship with God.
The tattoo artist Morgan from Bear Skin Art tattoos on 124st I TOTALLY RECOMEND he did a fantastic job he was SOOOO nice about it and he was sooo kind as to donate the tattoo so it was no expense for me.
My friends Cassy and Kahlei attended and so did Christine (Jessica *a cancer sister* Tait that passed away Feb 2009 her mom) Geff and Amanda who are relatives to Christine. Had come to watch me get my Tattoo. At first i was really worried about the pain and thought i wouldn’t be able to handle it but then again i have been through so much it really didn’t feel like nething at all really i was amazed. I didn’t cry i was just really at peace at the moment even for finding out i had incurable ewing sarcoma that very afternoon only 2 hrs before i got it.
While getting the tattoo i really got to reflect everything i had gone through, 14 treatments of intense chemo, 41 treatments of radiation, losing 5 friends to cancer while on my journey some closer than others they were still part of my cancer family, and will remain that way forever.
I felt the pain of getting diagnosed for the first time, the pain of my first chemo treatment, the awkward moments with my friends because they didn’t understand, the emotion pain i went through every moment for almost 2 years, the physical pain i had the memories i cherished with those i lost. The pain of losing those close to me, the stress it put on all my relationships ex. Family and friends.
The tattoo symbolizes all the pain and anguish i felt over the past few years but it also signifies my new beginning and the beauty that i can draw from everything dark around me.
People ask why i got a tattoo, that i have those memories all the time with me why brand myself. Unfortunately i have no spoken answer for them, this tattoo means more to me than meets the eye, its everything i held and hold close to me. It is only an answer that i can understand and would never really be able to put into words for someone else to understand why this tattoo is so precious to me.