June 29th 2009

So it has almost been a full year since I was redeemed cancer free. From August08-Febuary09 was smooth sailing, got back to school finally got to go back and finish my grade 12 year at Holy Trinity High school. Mind you that was a bit awkward, to me the students I was with were still gr.11 for me and I felt completely out of place in high school. I was deprived my senior yr of high school . . . for good reason I understand but life’s timing is impeccable! Last year I was on the outside looking in while this year I was on the inside looking out I don’t think it could have gotten any more weird than that. In march of 2009, We were told by my oncologist that I had developed some extremely small spots on my lungs on a scan, so instead of waiting 6 months for my next scans we would do some in 3 months in case it turned out to be growing and I had a relapse . . . which I don’t think I could handle.
I have done most of my scans that needed to be done and now just waiting to get my results, and its only now that after three months of waiting that I am getting stressed and worried and scared.
I also asked to be referred to an endocrinologist to help with my hormones to see where I was going because I haven’t had my period for almost two years my last period was Nov 2007. I got my results today, turns out the chemo severally damaged my ovaries, they aren’t functioning properly I was producing no estrogen or progesterone so I can’t mature an egg, therefore I can’t have my own biological children . . . but I can still carry a child but the egg would be from a donor. I still say that I am too young to say anything is for certain. But I need to be on 10 days of progesterone and then I have to permanently be on birth control it sucks so bad.