Simple update

Okay it is officially march! I can't believe how fast time is going. . . . . i'm already at six months for chemo! and my protocol is 7 to 8. Radiaiton is a pain in the BUTT. . . sure its killing Cancer which i think is absolutly amazing!!! and i absolutly LOVE LOVE LOVE it! but its just that you have to be there every single day at the same time and it seriously sucks because i cant make any plans until after my radiation is finished!!!!! Thats when everyone hangs out!
But any way i finally decided that i would actually go through with graduation! i finally got my dress and i think its gorgeous but i some how feel like i'm getting such an extravagent dress so it would hide me! My friends couldnt possibly understand how humiliating it is to have no eye brows and eye lashes and HAIR to fuss over! Before Cancer grad was an amazing event that i couldnt wait for! but now i'm scared crapless. . . scared something will just go very wrong! some forgets i have Cancer. .haha or my wig falls off and everyone finds out either way! i feel like i wont have as much fun because i still have pressures on me that they dont have to deal with! Taking my temp every hour if im not feeling well. . . making sure i take my pills and my shot on time! memorizing stollery numbers. . washing my hands after i touch ANYTHING! and i could go on forever but i dont want to.
School is getting completly over bearing. . . i would love to get my honor marks that i'm used to getting but now i'm faced with horrible failing marks that just make me feel completely stupid and usless! i've lost most of my motivation and i dont know where to get it from again! Sometimes i wonder why i get up in the morning to go to school. . . . .