Events from Febuary 17th to the 26th

Feb 17th
I got discharged from U of A i was sooo stoked on getting out of my prison cell room. . Dame it isolation sucks! I cant do shit and i get soo irritable its better off if no one stayed the night with me i get really pissy and mad! But any wayy this was my treatment where i started radiation for the first time while doing chemo at the same time!!! So when i went home i was soo tired and weak it was like the past 5 months of treatment decided to slap me straight in the face. . . . it was horrible i could bearly sleep my left leg felt kinda funny and i was walking a bit differently for a while. . i couldnt keep any of my food down and i do mean any, which is strange because i actually have a strong stomach for chemo but i guess with radiation it'll be different.

Feb 21st
OMG i never thought it was possible for me to push myself to the limit where i would be throwing up from exhaustion! i had blood work in the morning at the Tawa center and then i said i would go to school and my Dad was like "you dont look soo good, you shouldnt go to school and should go at home!' and of course i'm like your always on my ass to go to school and now you want me to go home. But he was right i wasnt feeling all that up to it and i felt really funny that day! turned out i could only hack half the day and i ended up taking the bus home. . . SERIOUSLY DUMB on my part to take the bus i should have taken a cab! . . . from the walking from the bus stop to my house completely wiped me out i was gasping for air like my lungs had collapsed. . as soon as i stepped into the house i wiped out on the floor for 10 minutes before i could get the strength to close the door and drag myself to the washroom where i "joyfully" got to hurl my guts out from exhaution. i looked at myself in the mirror and i was paper white my eyes where red and i had dark circles under them i looked like the walking dead! at this point i felt like breaking the mirror but i didnt have the strength and i needed to sit down before i blacked out!
I got a call later that afternoon from the hospital with the results from my blood test. . . turned out i was soo tired and pale because i had zero hemoglobin zero white blood cells and like zero neutrofils! in other words i had little oxygen going to the rest of my body and ZIP immune system so i was again neutropenic and exhausted! So i was ordered to go in the next day to get some units of blood to perk me up haha

Feb 22nd
So my lucky day i get to go to Stollery at 9 am just to get some blood! and make sure i get to my Radiation appointment on time! soo i was to get two unites of blood and that would actually take if you can believe it about 4 hours to actually get into my system! so the four hours go bye and its time for me to go so last vital check before i head off to my radiation appointment!
And the completely unexpected happens!! For the first time in all of my treatments for chemo and my transfusions i got a temperture of 38. 4! i got a FEVER and on the perfect day too. . . i was soo excited i mean with new blood and everything i would have more energy and we had a special dance happening at school called a touch of class dance where everyone dresses up really formal it was a hollywood theme! and me and group of girls decided that we would go for a nice dinner at Joeys before we went to the dancer together as a group! So while they were getting ready ( like i was supposed to be doing as well) i was getting admitted into my usual unit 4E3 in peds for having a fever and my discharging was completely unknown! Oh man was i burning mad and completely disappointed and ONCE again i was being left behind in all the fun everyone else would be having without me again! *the dimmly lite bright side of my fever admission was that i got room 2 in the unit this was a room where it had a little living room in the front of it with its own fridge and microwave* big woop i know ehh * i also had to cancel my radiation appointment*
The docs told me that i would have to get a blood culture done and then wait 48 hrs to see if anything grew*meaning if anything grew i had bacteria in my system which isnt good when you have no immun system* But this would also mean that i was be spending a minimun of 48 hrs in the hospital for the first time with Fever! it completely screwed up my schedule and everyone elses!

Feb 23rd
I was woken up from a really nice sleep at friken 8 in the morning to do a God dame chest scan and didnt even get to eat breakfast or any warning at all! and the scans where to see if i had nemonia or anything because i had developed a nasty cough which hasnt gone away still! I get back from my Chest scan and then i get my first platlet transfution they said the bag would look clear and it was like a yellow orange ting color in the bag it was really weird and then after that i had to get another two bags of blood i thought getting two bags of blood yesterday would have helped me but it turns out because my temp was so high it would have also killed the new cells goin into my body!!

Feb 25th
Okay soo interesting fact! i found out that my eye lashes fell off and part of my nails are aswell omgosh with the dying of my body cells not cess!!!

Feb 26th
I get discharged in the morning from my first stay in the hospital with Fever and man was i happy to get out! but when i got home lol i noticed that i'm like a hairless human now!! i have no hair on my head my eyebrows are gone and so are my eye lashes as of yesterday! and besides the fact that i'm already bald lol this is another reason why i dont want to go throught the torture of graduation. On Grad ur supposed to feel Beautiful and on top of the world!
Well i definatly do not feel beautiful i'm anything but beautiful! i dont want to go to grad and feel envyous of every other girl there! girls that arent going through the changes i am going through. . . girls who are NORMAL!
who have long hair that they can style how every they want. . . . who have eyebrows and eyelashes. . . .and who arent getting bloated from meds and retaining water from chemo! Girls who can put on a genuin smile and feel great about themselves and i have to fake a smile every single time!
* i also got a visit from a famous magician slash hypmotist by the name of Wayne Lee! he has done some work at K days and stuff me and my rents saw him a few years back and resently lol he is pretty good and i got a signed pic too lol*